Xander was walking down the endless glass halls of the Blazy Enterprises tower, minding his own business, doing that dorky little voice of his:

> “I’m so shocked… there’s an AC adapter right there, wow…”

He thought he was safe. He thought nothing could stop him.

But then came **the Bork Master**.

From the shadows, it emerged—a hulking, glitchy machine-dog hybrid with glowing red eyes, barking so distorted it sounded like 500 dial-up modems screaming at once.

“**BORK… BORK… BORK…**” it roared, each bark shaking the skyscraper like an earthquake.

Xander tried to reason with it in his dork voice:

> “Da—dude, relax… I didn’t even press play on the cassette deck…”

But the Bork Master didn’t listen. It lunged at him, borking so loud that entire floors of the Blazy tower flickered in and out of existence. The PBX phones melted off the walls. The elevators shot up 120 miles by themselves.

Xander fell to the floor, clutching his head, as the Bork Master circled him.

“**BORK! INITIATING BREAK SEQUENCE.**”

Mechanical arms extended from its body, each one labeled with some ridiculous function: *“Arm Breaker 9000,” “Spine Twister Pro,” “Ego Shatterer Deluxe.”*

Poor Xander squeaked out:

> “Wait wait wait, I didn’t even mean to—”

CRUNCH.

The Bork Master snapped him like a glow stick at a rave. The dorky voice was silenced mid-sentence. His last words were:

> “I’m so shocked— *crkkk*”

The Bork Master stood victorious, its speakers blasting distorted barking that echoed across the Blazy universe. Every clone felt it in their bones.

Somewhere, Maple whispered in her monotone voice:

> “Warning: Xander.exe has stopped responding. Press CTRL+ALT+BORK to continue.”